I kept trying to control my caffeine use by myself. I tried abstinence and giving in – letting myself drink or eat or swallow as much as I wanted. Nothing worked for long. I could control it for a while but never stay at that level. I could abstain but always relapsed sooner or later. When I gave in, my life would go from bad to awful to disaster.
When I first heard of CAFAA I was excited to try it. I couldn’t stay caffeine free but I kept coming to meetings anyway, because I had a desire to be free and was starting to feel sane and supported. Finally, after two years of attending meetings, doing service work for the group – sometimes being abstinent for short periods of time – I “got it.” I finally realized that I’m powerless over caffeine. I have not had any caffeine for a year [Editor’s note: Capina recently celebrated three-years of caffeine sobriety], and am finally, finally beginning to feel like myself, know who I am, love myself as I am, and most amazingly, grow in the grace of God.