Hi. My name is Jennie and I am a caffeine addict. I would like to share what it was like before CAFAA, what happened, and what it is like now.
Before CAFAA, I loved coffee and drank it almost all day long. When I wasn’t drinking coffee, I would drink diet sodas and tea. I drank so much caffeine that I started to have panic attacks. I had such bad anxiety that I was put on 2 different medications for that problem. My doctor, my therapist and a 12-step sponsor tried to convince me to quit caffeine. The doctor and therapist asked me to just drink 1 cup of coffee a day. The sponsor wanted me to quit altogether since she said caffeine was “problematic” for me. I did taper to one cup but was unwilling to give it up altogether, so I went back to drinking lots of caffeine. My life with caffeine was filled with depression. I could get “high” in the mornings but by afternoon, no matter how much I drank, I was sleepy, exhausted and depressed. My thinking was also negative and I was very irritable.
I finally decided that I needed help, so I Googled, “how to quit caffeine”. The CAFAA website popped up. I felt like it was a gift from my higher power. I started to listen to meetings. I remember my first meeting. Everyone was so welcoming and upbeat. So full of hope. I kept listening and got a 30-day support person. I really needed her because when I started tapering off caffeine, it was very difficult. I felt like I had the flu, and could hardly keep my head up at work. I almost went back to caffeine because my co-workers were commenting that I looked sick or something. I kept calling people in CAFAA and taking it one minute at a time. I forget how many weeks later, I began to feel better, and had one day that I felt so happy and had so much peace. I hadn’t had that much peace in years!
Now, I am off all my anti-anxiety medications. The peace that I felt before happens almost every day. It is my new normal. I am so grateful for CAFAA. My husband says that I am a totally different person now. I am calmer and less irritable, most days. I am still tempted to use caffeine almost every day, but I don’t want to go through withdrawals again, and I don’t want to disappoint my new friends in CAFAA. Most of all, I feel like my conscious contact with my higher power has improved, so I will keep committing to one day at a time caffeine free, and one minute if necessary.